Money Jokes

Wife: "Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?"
Husband: "Not at all, darling. I would love you no matter who left you the money."

When a little boy desperately needed 100 dollars to buy a present, his mother suggested that he pray for it. So he wrote to God asking for the money. The Post Office intercepted the letter and forwarded it to the President who was so touched by the request that he instructed his secretary to send the boy 10 dollars.
On receiving the money, the boy wrote back: "Dear God, Thank you very much for sending me the money. I noticed that you had to send it through Washington. As usual, those thieving bastards deducted 90 dollars."

Joe was broke. His business had gone bust and in desperation he prayed to God to make him win the lottery. But he was out opf luck and had to sell his car. The next week he again prayed to God to make him win the lottery, but once more he was out of luck and had to sell his house. With his wife was about to leave, Joe made one last plea to God to make him win the lottery. God came back to him and said: "Listen, Joe, meet me halfway on this - buy a ticket."

An archaeologist working in the Israel desert discovered a casket containing a mummy. He proudly announced: "I have just found a 3,000 year-old mummy of a man who died of heart failure."
Test on the mummy confirmed the archaeologist's findings.
"How did you know he had died of heart failure?" asked a journalist.
"It was simple," said the archaeologist. "There was a piece of paper in his hand that said: '10,000 shekels on Goliath.'"