Thought-Provoking Humor

Once upon a time, there was a nonconforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. Soon the weather turned cold, however, that he reluctantly started to head south. In a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard. Just then a cow passed by and crapped on the sparrow. The bird thought it was the end. But the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, he started to sing. Just then a cat came by, heard the chirping, cleared away the manure, and ate the bird.

Three lessons in this story:
a)Everyone who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy.
b)Everyone who gets you out of the shits is not necessarily your friend.
c)If you are warm and happy in a file of shit, keep your mouth shut.

Two brothers, an incurable optimist and a diehard pessimist, were asked what they wanted for Christmas. Both had the same reply. Each of them wanted a pony. Christmas morning came and both ran excitedly out to the barn. They flung open the door but found nothing except an enormous pile of manure. Disappointed the pessimistic brother ran back to the house in tears. The optimistic one, on the other hand, picked up a shovel, started to dig, and declared, "With this much manure there must a pony in here somewhere."

A self-sufficient young farmer who is also a penny-pincher has never gone out of his house until one day when he had to go out of town to arrange the funeral of his father who died in another state. So he looked around the neighborhood farmers for a place to board his horse temporarily while he is away. The first farmer he approached told him that he can take care of his horse for $20/day. "But," he added, "I’ll have to keep the manure because I want to use it to fertilize my garden."

The second farmer charged the same as the first but he doesn’t want the manure. So the young farmer continued to look around until he approached an old farmer and told him about his predicament. "Well," the old farmer said, "I can take your horse for $5/day." The young farmer could not hide his smile and asked, "What about the manure?"
"Son," the old farmer replied, "for $5/day, there ain’t gonna be a manure."

A grumpy husband had nothing but complaints everyday. Nothing his wife did ever made him happy. If she served him orange juice in the morning, he wanted prunes. If the toast was buttered, he wanted it plain. If the eggs were fried, he wanted them poached.

One morning, in an effort to get her husband to stop complaining, his wife cleverly fried one egg and poached the other. Then she waited for his response.
Looking at the plate, her husband grumbled, "You fried the wrong one."