Heaven and Hell Jokes

Three married couples - one Jewish , one Irish, one American - all died on the same day and arrived at heaven. St. Peter was waiting at the gates to take down their names. After telling St Peter about all the good works he had done, the Jew told him that his wife' name was Penny.
"I'm sorry," said St. Peter, "but I can't admit anyone with a name connected to money."
Next was the Irishman. He too told St. Peter of his many charitable works and said that his wife's name was Brandy.
"I'm sorry," said St. Peter, "but I can't admit anyone with a name linked to alcohol."
Hearing all these the American turned to his wife and said; "Fanny, I think we may have a problem."

Two lovers who were interested in spiritualism and reincarnation promised that if either died, the survivor would try to contact the partner in the other world exactly 30 days after death. A few weeks after making this fact, the young man was killed in a car accident.
Thirty days later, his sweetheart tried to contact him via a séance.
"Can you hear me, Joel?" she wailed.
A voice came back: "Yes, Lauren, this Joel. I hear you."
"Oh, Joel, it's so good to hear your voice. What is it like where you are?"
"It's beautiful, Lauren. There are clear blue skies, a soft breeze and warm sunshine."
"What do you do all day, Joel?"
"Well, Lauren, we're up before sunrise, we eat a good breakfast, then it's nothing but sex till noon. After lunch, we sleep till two, then have sex till five. After dinner, we go at it again till we fall asleep around 11."
"Joel, is that what heaven is really like?"
"Heaven? I'm not in heaven. I'm a jack rabbit in Arizona."

To the horror of the locals, Satan suddenly appeared in the main street of a small town one Sunday morning. Everyone rushed indoors except for one old tier who calmly stayed on his porch reading a book. Satan was furious that this one person should not be afraid of him and went over to challenge him.
"Are you not scared of me?" screamed Satan at his most menacing.
"Nope," said the old timer.
"Aren't you terrified that I'm going to wreak havoc in your nice little community?"
"Nope."
By now steam was coming out of Satan's ears. He raged: "You don't know who I am, don't you?"
"Should do. Been married to your sister for 49 years."