Detective Jokes

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went camping. After a good meal and an excellent bottle of wine, they lay down and went to sleep. A couple of hours later, Holmes woke up and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, Watson," he said, "Look up at the sky and tell me what you see?"
"I see millions and millions of stars," replied Watson.
"And what does that tell you?" inquired the master detective.
Watson thought for a moment. "Well, Holmes, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately two twenty-five. Theologically, I can see that God is powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I believe we will have a glorious day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
"Watson, you imbecile! Some thief has stolen our tent!"

Three guys - a Jew, an Italian and a Pole - signed up for police academy. The Jew went in first and the captain said: "Before we admit you to the academy, we have to aske you one question: "Who killed Jesus?"
"The Rpmans," answered the Jew.
"That's correct. You can enter the academy."
Next it was the Italian's turn. "Who killed Jesus?" asked the captain.
"The Romans," replied the Italian.
"That's correct. You can enter the academy."
Finally it was the Pole's turn. "Who killed Jesus?" asked the captain.
"I'm not sure," said the Pole.
"Well," said the captain, "why don't you go home and think about it?"
The Pole went home and said to his wife: "You won't believe this! My first day in the job and they gave me a murder case to solve!"